Year 2000 Road Trip Extravaganza!

Good morning from the Cafe Du Monde, home of beignets and cafe au lait. If you've never had a beignet, imagine funnel cake in the shape of a cinnamon bun topped with powdered sugar. Since we had so much success with Gray Line tours in Niagara, we decided to give 'em another try and after our beignets and coffee we signed up for a combination paddleboat and bus tour.

The steamboat Natchez was about as authentic as they come. One of few true steam-powered boats on the river, the Natchez features two huge steam boilers powering the paddlewheel, a hydraulic rudder, three decks, two bars and a band.

The bus tour was so jam-packed full of information it was impossible to catch everything. There is so much to see in New Orleans besides the French Quarter, I'll just give you a few hilights. There are several cemeteries in New Orleans, famous for storing the remains of entire generations in one crypt. Space is literally so scarce that when another family member dies they empty the bones into the crypt, reload the coffin, and slide it back in, sliding the bones to the back of the crypt. We also saw Emeril's restaurant, Delmonico's, MTV's Real World house, and dozens of New Orleans houses big and small, featuring the iron lace that has become a trademark for the city.

After the bus tour we rested up for another night on the town. We had an excellent dinner at the Cafe Royal on Royal Street. We sat on the balcony and amused ourselves by watching the people on the street below (photos at the Royal Cafe courtesy of the Brunner family from Connecticut who sat next to us).

Chris wanted to get his ear pierced, so after dinner we searched the French Quarter for a piercing shop. That mission failed, but on the way I found a Bastille Day celebration marching down the street.

First things first. Don’t forget, this is the Week Of Dave (WOD) and it is going strong. To recap, we saw David Benoit last week in D.C. performing with the Symphony Orchestra in front of the Capitol. Friday we saw Dave Letterman in New York. Saturday we drove to Boston and stayed with our friend Dave. Sunday we saw Dave Matthews. Monday we took a Duck Tour of Boston and guess who was loading our duck? That’s right, Dave.

Today we hit the Falls, Niagara Falls that is, Canadians and one really big swimming pool. On our way into the falls we stopped at an information booth and signed up for a tour that included a jet boat ride to the whirlpool, a visit to the Horseshoe Falls, and a trip up to the top of the Minolta Tour. The tour departed from the Sheraton Four Points Hotel at 12:00. We arrived approximately 15 minutes early. Our bus arrived approximately 15 minutes late. Guess who was driving? WOD. Poor Dave, a bus broke down that morning and he was now trying to play catch up. He kept radioing to his base station trying to give them updates and get information back and like an I Love Lucy episode the messages kept getting mixed up and garbled. At any rate, we finally picked up all 12 passengers and headed to the Canadian border. A Canadian border agent boarded the vehicle, asked about everyone’s citizenship, then took four visiting Dominicans off to stamp their passports. Ten minutes later the agent returned with the family and informed Dave that they did not have the proper Visas. This man runs the largest bank in the Dominican Republic, has been to more countries as I’ve been to states, but because his Visa was European and not Canadian, they would not let him in to the country. Exactly what they are afraid of, I don’t know. At any rate, we had to turn around and return the family to the stop we picked them up at, but first we had to go through U.S. Customs, despite the fact that we never actually made it into Canada.

Apologizing profusely, Mr. Jiminez and family disembarked the bus at their hotel and we headed back to the Canadian border, with all eight passengers on board. We made it through (thank God) and picked up our remaining passengers about an hour late. Meanwhile, Dave’s looking like he’s going to have a nervous breakdown. We high-tailed it to the jet boat, arriving only about 30 minutes late. Our pilot, Dave (not our bus driver), gave us quite a thrill ride as we jetted up the river and back doing 180’s—or Hamilton’s as they’re called. The thing is literally a huge Sea-Doo, only this bad boy has three Volvo Penta 6-cylinder engines powering three separate jets to put out about 1500-1800 horsepower. Those are the same engines Volvo uses in their big-rig tractors (and we had 3 behind us!) more power HO HO HO!!

Needless to say the jet boat was exciting, although we would still like to ride the Maid of the Mist, which goes right up to the bottom of the Falls. Next time. Dave is feeling much better now and we continued our tour without event. Details of that are best read on the web site where you can see the corresponding pictures.

We left the Niagara area around 8 I think it was and headed south to Chattanooga, TN. Around midnight we switched drivers and due to our late start and my night-owl nature, we drove until about 3:30AM. Not wanting to have to pay for a motel for only 5 hours, we pulled into a rest stop in Southern Kentucky and slept surprisingly well until about 8AM. I even remembered to lock the doors AND roll up the window this time.

We arrived in Chattanooga, TN mid-afternoon on Wednesday where we are staying with some friends of my family, The Fischers. Yesterday we went boating on the Tennessee River in X9, the Fischer’s high performance boat. Perhaps I should say what used to be their high performance boat. Yes, fun follows THE ROAD SCHOLARS around and as we were heading back into dock the engine sputtered, coughed once, gave us the finger, and quit. Talk about the Midas touch. Chris and Mike (Fischer) were over the side before I knew it, pulling the boat to the dock. If you ask me I’ll tell you the distance was measured in yards. If you ask Mike’s karate class, I’m sure they’ll say it was miles. Regardless, they only pulled us a few feet before another boat came along, glanced quizzically at us and asked, “what are y’all doin’?”. I looked up plaintively from the engine (as if I could fix the damn thing) and said “pushing”. He gave us a good tow, we arrived at the shore without a hitch (pun intended), and I’m sure Mike will keep us posted on what the problem was. We did luck out though, not only did we miss the thunderstorm that was brewing, the boat waited until we were literally a stone’s throw from the dock before dying. St. Christopher strikes again.

See ya’ in N’orleans,

-Sean

Labels: New York, Tennessee, wod

This was probably one of the most enjoyable days of the trip so far. We've seen and done a lot of things, but until today we were always on our way somewhere or going to do something. Chattanooga gave us an opportunity to be on vacation. Mike took us out in his 54' yacht to Lake Tachamachahatciewoogle on the Tennessee River. We managed to miss the thunderstorm and we postponed the boat trouble until we were ready to return to shore. All in all, it was a very relaxing day.

Relaxation is not without education, however, and we are the ROAD SCHOLARS. While out on the lake, we made some new friends and learned some new things. One of our new friends, Christina (seen here on the far left, we couldn't get any closer because the water was too shallow) gave us her tip of the day:

How to keep your cigarettes dry when spending a day at the lake--in one easy step.
Step One, place entire cigarette package inside bikini top (right side). Very impressive (trust me).

Other bits of knowledge from the day:

• Mondo REALLY likes my sleeping bag.
• It is possible to get a teenager to do dishes.
• The Fischer's have so many remote controls you could set up a cool photo-op using a digital camera
• We're really from Baywatch.
• I have a really bad farmer's tan.

Labels: Tennessee

A night at our five star hotel was just what we needed to recuperate from our long day at Niagara and the long drive that followed. Actually, the Monte Carlo was a lot more comfortable than I expected. Plus, we didn't have to worry about checking out or packing up, so we were able to get on the road to Tennessee rather quickly. We arrived at the Fischer's mid-afternoon on Wednesday. The accommodations were a slight improvement over the Kentucky rest area of the night before, at least we had our own bathroom.

Mike is an old friend of my dad's who lives in Chattanooga, TN with his lovely wife, Carolyn, two darling children, Dalton and Rachael. and a host of pets, including Charlie Barker and General "Jack" Jackson. Mike and Carolyn showed us a night on the town in downtown Chattanooga, including some of the locals, the Chattanooga Choo-Choo, and the kinds of things they do for fun on weekends.

Labels: Tennessee

Niagara Falls. Incredible. That's the only way I can describe it. We took so many pictures I don't have enough story to cover them all, so be sure and click on the scrapbook link above and browse at your discretion.

We left our motel around 10:30 and headed towards the falls. On our way we stopped at one of the many visitor centers and signed up for a Gray Line tour including a jet boat ride to the whirlpool, a visit to the falls, and a trip to the top of Minolta Tower. When we finally got to the jet boat (see issue 6 of From The Road) it was quite a thrill. We were taken right into a category 5 rapid and told "anyone not having a good time can get out now". Our driver, Dave, had quite a bit of fun doing 180's with the 1800 horses he had to play with behind us. After the jet boat, our bus driver, Dave, took us to see the floral clock, the power plants, and a view of the falls from one of two towers overlooking the falls.

Once the Gray Line tour was over, we walked back into Canada to get an Ontario HRC shirt. I was highly amused at the strict immigration policy they enforced. "What is your citizenship?" "I'm a communist with a terrorist plot to take over your country by force". "Proceed". The American's were just as strict, except in order to leave Canada we had to pay 50 cents a piece. Anyway, to top that off, the Hard Rock was all out of the Large and X-Large sizes of the shirt Chris wanted. He had to settle for a medium from the cute little witch with an attitude that was selling the merchandise. I hope they're nicer in Tennessee.

Labels: Canada, HRC, New York

After my last update, I’m sure you can imagine our—or at least my—demeanor when we got back to our friend Dave’s place last night. Keep that in mind before passing any judgment on us for what I’m about to tell you. I know my grandfather will certainly appreciate the tale.

We lucked out the first night because Dave was not home for the evening and we used his parking space in the parking structure of his building. But that was not the case last night. So we circled, and circled, and circled, tired and wet. We read signs in parking lots stating “resident permit parking only, guests park on street”. Then we read signs on the street that stated “resident permit parking only, guests are screwed”. I must have driven down every street around Dave’s place backwards and forwards, literally.

Finally we found a spot…a tight squeeze, but I managed to pahk the cah as they say in Boston. After we parked we noticed a sign that indicated in a very vague manner that there may not be parking allowed where our official TRS vehicle now sat. “Do they have a ticket?” I asked Chris, pointing to the car behind us. “It’s only 10 dollars” he responded. Screw it, at 1:30am it was worth it. Chances are they’d ticket and not tow, right?

Never mind tow, we’re lucky the gosh damn car was there this morning. Sitting in our locked vehicle overnight three blocks away from us was the camcorder, my cell phone, Chris’ CD collection, Chris’ keys to the rental car, the brand new GPS receiver I purchased yesterday (which was sitting on the dash board), and of course all our miscellaneous crap in the trunk, including clothes and suitcases. So now you’re wondering what was stolen. That’s the kicker. Nothing. Everything was just as we left it, right down to the car keys sitting on the console. An impressive feat considering the driver’s window was wide open. Thank you, St. Christopher.

Drive safely…and roll up your damned windows!!

-Sean

Labels: Boston, wod

If you are looking for the down and dirty, quick and easy way to see as much of Boston in as little time as possible, a Duck Tour is the way to go. What used to be a WWII amphibious assault vehicle--the same ones used for the invasion of Normandy--is now a land and sea tour bus. This is truly a stroke of genius as far as we're concerned, and we're not alone. A Duck Tour is something you need to work into your day, so get there early if necessary. Week days are better than weekends. Sunday we tried to get a tour at noon and the next available one started at 4PM. However, on Monday morning we walked up at 9:15 and got on a 9:30 tour.

You don't actually learn anything about water fowl on the tour, but everyone on our bus did get an opportunity to drive the duck after we launched into the Charles River on the inner part of Boston Harbor. We especially lucked out with the Sarge, our tour guide. He was extremely knowledgeable, witty, and hell, he let me drive!

After our 90 minute Duck Tour, we hit the road for Niagara Falls, NY, driving alongside the Erie Canal for much of they way. We stopped to eat near Rochester, NY at the Cartwright Inn. Excellent Veal Parmesan if you find yourself in the area. And if you order before 6:30, you qualify for the early bird special.

Special note: the week of Dave continues today with the gentlemen who was loading the ducks, Dave. Sorry, he wasn't available for a photo op.

Labels: Boston, New York, wod

I want everyone to know I’ve calmed way down now. Where to even begin on this one?

One of the high points of the Y2KRTE that we have been looking forward to greatly is the Dave Matthews Band (DMB) concert at Foxboro Stadium in the outskirts of Boston. I am now sitting in the car in the parking lot of Foxboro Stadium, and as I glance out the windows, I will be here for quite some time, so l won’t spare the details.

I wish I could say the event lived up to my expectations. The day started out nice enough. We tooled around Boston this morning, did some shopping and then headed out to the concert around 4:30. I was in high spirits upon arrival, despite the thousands of people that awaited us when we got here. Not even the site of storm clouds approaching in the distance dampened my spirits.

There were two warm-up bands that did their jobs well. By the time the second band started I was really starting to get fired up. It had begun to rain, however, and so I invested $5 in a trash bag the merchant called a poncho. What a steal, but who stole what from whom? The rain was intermittent and as it got closer to show time the stadium really began to fill up. About 15 minutes before Dave took the stage, a group of twenty-something jackasses with Brooklyn accents took their seats directly behind me. I refer to them as jackasses for reasons that will become apparent in a moment. They were quite obviously intoxicated and no sooner had they sat down they were up again to re-supply their beer glasses. Great, that’s just what they need, more beer. I tried not to let it bother me. I figured once the concert started they’d be fine. Until then I’d just have to put up with the “Yankees suck” chant sessions. I thought this was a DMB concert, not a ballgame.

Finally Dave takes the stage…amid a torrential downpour. We’d been sitting there so long, at this point I figured Dave took one look out the window and said “screw it, I’m not performing in that”. But what did he care, he had a big-ass cover over his spot. Anyway, I digress.

After they played two songs I was feeling pretty good about things, but the natives were growing restless. I suddenly became aware of a warm sensation on my leg and as I heard one of the jackasses ask his friend “aren’t you done yet?” I knew immediately what was taking place. Shit…or urine rather. I turned around to find Foxboro Falls aimed directly in my direction. I stepped to the side in a vain attempt to avoid contact but the damage had already been done. My concert was ruined, $47.50 down the drain. Anyone else would have had the mother #$%^&% on the ground…actually, I came close myself (he wasn’t that big) but as drunk as his friends were, they still outnumbered me 6 to 1. I was pissed, pun intended.

I spent the remainder of the concert for the most part motionless, trying not to think about my leg issue or the various ways to extract my revenge. Have you ever tried not to think about something? Quick, don’t think about cats! All that does is get you thinking about cats pissing. I think Chris for the most part managed to enjoy the concert with his new friends Nicole and Jessica or Trixie and Dixie or whatever the hell their names were sitting (drinking is more accurate) next to us. Pardon my bitterness, but I think I’ve earned it. Speaking of bitterness…HA! I almost forgot the best part. Urine boy got his in the end. I don’t know exactly what happened, but about an hour after the falls stopped flowing, there was a scuffle behind us, one of the Brooklyn girls was hissing and the next thing I know The Jakckass is bleeding from his right eye. I don’t mean a scratch either, somebody whacked him a good one, I mean we had flowage. Somewhat ironic that the same guy who earlier was dousing me in urine was now dousing himself in blood. And I didn’t have to lift a finger.

From the parking lot, I remain,

-Sean, the wet Road Scholar

Labels: Boston, from the road

Welcome to THE ROAD SCHOLARS' four hour tour of Boston. We didn't even scratch the surface and we know it, but it was okay because we knew we had Dave Matthews to look forward to.

We started off at the mall in Prudential Center (the Prude as it is called) where I got some advice on seeing the sights in Boston. The rest isn't terribly exciting. We managed to see Boston Common, St. Paul's Cathedral, the Hard Rock Cafe (of course), and the famous Bull & Finch Tavern, inspiration for the long-running NBC sitcom Cheers. Actually we had lunch at the Bull & Finch where we scored some Cheers mugs (for only $6 each). It was worth it though, because while we were there guess who showed up!!? Frasier, Diane, and Woody, all of Cheers fame. Good times at the Bull & Finch. By the way, the door in real life opens outward due to fire regulations, not inward like on the show.

A quick side note. I couldn't resist taking a picture of this tomato green Honda parked in a No Parking Zone. Notice the license plate (and the no-parking sign). If you don't understand why this is funny, go rent Fried Green Tomatoes.

Labels: Boston, Hard Rock

We are so damned hooked up it’s not even funny. This is unbelievable. I want everyone to know we are doing this all wrong. We should have taken out loans, rented the car for two months, and spent the summer a week at a time with everyone we know across the country. Next time.

This update finds us in Boston on day 10 (well, day 11 now), so far, my favorite day of the trip. But let me catch you up.

We made it to Camden Yards with great success. The Orioles defeated the Blue Jays 3-2 and it was a pretty good game. After the game we tooled around Baltimore for a little while to pick up some maps, postcards, and, of course, a Hard Rock T-shirt for Chris (he collects them for those that don’t know). During the rest of our stay in Virginia, we managed to hit Mt. Vernon, the Museum of Natural History, the D.C. Hard Rock, the FBI tour, and we watched the fireworks in front of the capitol building. We didn’t know it at the time, but the fourth of July kicked off what has become the Week Of Dave (WOD). To my pleasant surprise, David Benoit played with the Symphony Orchestra just before the fireworks. Two days later we saw David Letterman in New York (Regis was there!!), and we are now in Boston staying at our friend Dave’s place before we go see Dave Matthews tomorrow. WOD.

But I skipped a few steps. We managed to meet up with an old friend in D.C., Gabriela. We watched the fireworks and spent the evening with her on the 4^th. After the FBI tour the next morning, we had lunch with Chris’s cousin, said our good-byes and headed to Gettysburg (for yet another whirlwind tour). The evening of July 5^th put us in Downingtown, PA with some friends of my family, Bill & Liz. A good time was had by all. That’s all I’ll say about that.

After two days in Downingtown (with a day-trip to NY), we were invited to join Bill & Liz on the Jersey Shore with their neighbors, Tim and Arlene. Which brings us to today. We woke up this morning, rented some bikes, and rode along the Boardwalk where we had breakfast and window shopped. Quite enjoyable and, as usual, it was tough to pull ourselves away and get on the road. But another old friend of mine, JoHanna, awaited us in Westport, CT. We hit some turbulence along the way, but we finally made it and although the visit was short, it was great to see her, the new house, her new husband, and the new little bundle of joy on it’s way.

Our next stop on our way to Boston was the University of Rhode Island. All I have to say is you simply must see the video footage on this one. We were charged with the task of locating and photographing a brick in the quad of the University belonging to one of our adoring fans in San Luis Obispo. I won’t name any names, but we finally found Dawn Smith’s brick…I hope we did it justice with our pics.

I think the hilight of the day was my quest for a Rhode Island mug. As many of you should know, I collect mugs from different states. There are only two requirements: 1) I have to have personally visited the state for some period of time and 2) the mug has to have the name of the state on it. I haven’t been doing so well on the mug quest. So far I’ve missed PA, CT, and RI. You can read the details of that adventure on the site under day 10.

Which brings us (finally) to Boston. We are staying with our friend Dave, whom we know from Santa Margarita Catholic High School. He attends BU and has a place that he has graciously allowed us to crash—and we’ve got it all to ourselves...which should leave me with plenty of time to work on the web site, so look for updated pages soon! Tomorrow, Boston in a day, with Dave Matthews topping it off at Foxboro Stadium.

As usual, you can read all about this stuff in detail with pictures on the site, http://www.theroadscholars.com. Any questions or comments should be directed to theroads@theroadscholars.com.

Until next time, drive safely, we’ll see ya’ on the road.

-Sean

Labels: from the road, wod